On the shoulders of rather short people

Since my last post I have done a variety of weird and wonderful things, which resulted in me being sufficiently distracted/busy/miles from a computer to forget to post anything about them! Very quickly, I have:

• Written a 50,065 word novel in 30 days as part of the general insanity that is NaNoWriMo
• Flown a glider
• Flown a small aeroplane
• Gone snorkeling at the Poor Knights (and managed not to drown!)
  
• Spent 10 days in an old canvas tent in Christchurch with around 3,500 other girls/women (Girl Guide Jamboree 2008)

Onward to the actual purpose of this post, which I hope may be more interesting!

Scott Hanselman recently published a post entitled "Standing on their shoulders and paying it forward" which contained the following paragraph:

If you have a blog, Dear Reader, why not take a moment at the beginning of this new year to write a post about the people that helped you get where you are? Parents? Teachers? First bosses? Friend? Spouse? Whose shoulders are you standing on?

The idea struck me as a laudable and sensible way to start blogging again in a new year after a long break. A list of all the people upon whose shoulders I stand would be more than long enough to cure a severe case of insomnia, so I won't inflict that on any of us. The crowd of people who have supported, encouraged and generally kept me sane over the years is huge and I am tremendously grateful to each of them. There are, however, a couple of people who stand out and have provided advice which I still quote and is helpful to more than just me.

Without further ado, may I present two women whose determination, frustration with me and patience despite it have left me with fond memories, pithy phrases and no few blushes of shame at how much I took them for granted.

#1 - a high school science teacher who placed her students far above herself - Ms Bailey

"Don't let your schooling get in the way of your education!" a hand-made poster on my bedroom wall once proclaimed. A unorthodox sentiment to have come from a high school teacher but one which proved a true and often useful guide. I had the privilege of being in Ms Bailey's classes twice - once as a 13-14 year old sitting compulsory 4th form/year 10 science, then again as a 15-16 year old in an accelerated class covering the critical sections of the 6th form / year 12 chemistry, physics and biology curriculums. In both cases some characteristics stood out: flexibility, humility and a strong focus on putting students first.

To a class of grumpy 13 year olds who didn't want to be in a compulsory science class, she posed a question: "What would you like to do in science?" To the unanimous response of "Blow things up!", she acquiesced, and found a way. A university project of mine years later began from the memory of learning to manufacture pure oxygen and hydrogen gases, measuring them carefully then taking a bottle filled with precise proportions into the middle of the tennis courts before lighting a match and watching it fly. And this despite a fear of explosions, which we only learnt about later!

To a young girl frustrated by an astronomy curriculum covering things she already knew, she granted permission to leave classes to pursue a personal project. The result sparked an interest in black holes that lasted years and left me dreaming of pursuing a career as a cosmologist and drawing singularities on paper for my friends during economics class.

Faced with a young idealist on a crusade against evolution, she again granted the permission for the project and weathered the ongoing discussion throughout the year with patience and politeness. Listening, questioning, proposing alternatives, but never ridiculing, she made the lunchtime discussions a time I looked forward to eagerly and left me feeling respected and capable. She also had the insight to use the opportunity as one of the few means anyone ever found to get me to work: if my grades dropped she quietly and simply became unavailable until they rose again.

A Biology expert struggling with the more complex Physics of the sixth form curriculum, she had the humility and grace to accept correction from a student - stunning an adolescent psyche wired to run on selfishness. Presented with my apology, her quiet insistence that she would much rather be embarrassed than allow the other students to learn something incorrectly left me more than impressed.

Having become a person in whose office I felt comfortable discussing my ideas, hopes and dreams, she shot down my thoughts of becoming a high school physics teacher with the simple statement "Don't you dare!" Again, more than a little unorthodox and certainly a surprise, but, yes, me as a physics teacher would not have worked well! In the same conversation she encouraged me to remember that there are far more areas of study in existence than those we cover in school, to try different things I hadn't thought of and thus to discover what it was I enjoyed. That approach resulted in the Computer Science and Psychology studies I enjoyed so much, and is one I advocated to a friend only last week.

For keeping me interested, pushing me to do more than the minimum, inspiring me with possibilities, pulling me up short when I needed it - thanks, Ms Bailey!


#2 - as cliched as it is, true nonetheless - MUM

All mothers, by definition, are important to their children. They all seem to accomplish miracles on a regular basis; resulting in most of them having in their possession some article or other with the legend "Best Mum in the World". Despite the stereotypicality of it, I insist on acknowledging how important my mum has been. :)

There are too many stories to tell here, but the traits I'd highlight if I could would be:

• her constant pushing for the best - for me and of me
• her stubborn independence
  
• her focus on the practical - making it happen no matter what crazy dream I came up with
• unconditional love - not only for me but for any of the wide selection of people she 'adopted'; demonstrating more than anyone else I know the ability to be there and to care no matter what a person may have done
• keeping options open - the one technique for any and every situation!
  

You want to be a nurse? That's nice, dear. Why not a doctor?

You want to be a Cosmologist? That's cool. How about we go look at how you can get qualifications for that and where you can study.

You want to be a Physics teacher? Ok... let's look at how you can do that. Just make sure you keep your options open!

You want to be an Interaction Designer? That's cool. Let's look up some universities that specialise in that. Look, there's one in London...

You want to write a novel in 30 days? I think you're mad... but, here, have some chocolate, it may help!

You want to learn to fly something? Ok, I'll give you a couple of trial flights for your Christmas present - make sure you check out all the options!

Mum has slowly become the person I go to with crazy ideas, disappointments, successes, confusion. No matter what the problem may be, she'll always be able to come up with a list of options - to check out and keep open!