Fish! Choose your attitude

(see my previous post on the Fish! book if you don't know what I'm taking about)

The major point throughout the book is that you can Choose Your Attitude. Basically, circumstances are beyond your control but you can choose how you react to them. Specifically, the work you do may be out of your control but you can choose whether or not to enjoy it.

This principle is certainly nothing new (my mother's been saying that to me for years!) but it's hard, so we tend to forget, and it's always good to be reminded. This particular reminder struck home on on a couple of levels.

Firstly, as a general rule I love my work so the need to decide to have a good day isn't so pressing. However, I've noticed that we all have a tendency to decide how good our day is based on what technology we happen to be working with. Even our 'energetically enthusiastic' director is guilty of this: I remember one of the first times he talked to me I admitted I was having a bad day, following which he glanced at my monitor and replied "No wonder you're having a bad day! You're working with Reporting Services!". What kind of day I have should not be affected by technology but on how I approach said technology...

Incidentally, I spend a lot of time with Reporting Services and while it does frustrate me at times I feel reporting is an important way for clients to get the information they need to make decisions and I enjoy making that easy :)

Part of choosing your attitude is choosing never to behave like a victim. Work-wise: we are not victims of specific technologies or clients or managers or team members. We are people with the ability to choose our own attitudes independently of all those things. I think most of us need to be reminded of that one! Our attitudes don't need to mirror others; if someone else is becoming uptight or aggressive there's no need to respond in kind. I remember one of our project managers being nominated for an award a few weeks ago for exactly that: responding perfectly calmly and defusing a client manager who was getting aggressive.

Choose Your Attitude also meant a lot to me on a personal level. In fact, the book came close to making me cry! You see, last year was a rough year for me personally and I became rather expert in being a victim and letting circumstances dictate how I was going to feel. I know many people told me I needed to choose to move on but I always replied "I can't do that! I haven't got closure!". It's so much easier to wallow in self-pity (you get sympathy that way) than trying to step out and find new ways of coping. It's only in the last couple of months that I've finally begun to leave things behind, mostly by a conscious decision not to care any more.

I know that Choose Your Attitude is a really easy phrase to say, but it's a much harder one to put into practice! I'm still figuring this out myself... but here are a few thoughts:

1. Choosing Your Attitude takes courage. It requires stepping out of your comfort zone, not looking for sympathy or the easy way out.
   
2. Because you need courage, you need to convince yourself it's worth it. Keep in mind what you have to gain (generally, enjoying life more!) and use that to motivate yourself.
3. I've found self-talk to be an effective tool. Literally talking to yourself and telling yourself what you're going to do. "I can choose my attitude and today I choose to be positive." It can be good to have a key phrase that reminds you of what's important to you. Make it your Windows password so you have to type it in multiple times a day!
   
4. Don't be surprised if change takes time. You'll probably need to re-Choose Your Attitude multiple times each day. Hang in there.
5. Little practical things can often help improve your mood. For me, wearing a new shirt tends to keep me smiling all day :) Also going for a walk, or grabbing my favourite drink/sweet or listening to particular music. Recognise when you need to take a break for a 'pick me up' and go do it.
   

I'll leave things there for the moment. Choose to have a great day today :)